upset and frustrated
Time has past 12am which signifies beginning of another day. Day by day, life is just a cycle. Get up in the morning ---> rush to work---> reach office ----> work ---> if lucky, not getting shoot by boss, if bad luck get shoot ---> going home feeling moody ---> sleep...
For the past months, I have been living in a daze due to work stress. Countless of sleepless nights which contributes low performance of my brain memory and emotionally drained out. I can't concentrate my work when I am stressed. Usually work is done shoddily and incomplete.
While I was working on a task, I will be thinking of another outstanding tasks. I feel restless in the office. Besides that, office politics getting worse day by day. Blaming each other for a small mistake. Do they know that to build a plant needs cooperation from everyone? What is TEAMWORK? Do they know what is the meaning of teamwork? Or is it a "dim" work? Even worst, the woman bitch isn't protecting us and treat us like robot without any feelings. What is the purpose of working so hard that bosses never appreciates employees/staffs? That bitch has been bias with a engineer and treating him like her son eventhough he is lazy for not doing his job properly.
I am supposed to enjoy my weekends with eztra day of Wesak celebration but I am upset and frustrated about my office environment. I do love my job but somehow when I think of what I have done for the past 1 year, I didn't learn much. Each morning I wake up, I wish it is weekend or holiday..I dread of going to work. I hate being scolded for no reason. I hate doing redundant work. I hate to see unfairness treatment towards to certain employees. I hate crazy woman boss who is abusing her power/authority. I hate manipulative bitch.
How long can I last in this company? The project will only be completed in next year. The way the woman scolds really hurts people feelings. Not only me, even my guys colleagues.
I am mentally tortured. Dared not make decision, dared not speak from my mind. I ever did this before but the woman scolded me. What am I? A robot which get instruction and do the work without any emotion? Why I am restricted with all these working values? "DOn't know" is common word from my mouth nowadays if I am being asked. I would be perceived as blur person whenever I say "don't know".
I find that my mind is in a mess. So do my desk with full of papers and document that not yet filed. I am fed up working in projects. Should I venture into a new field which totally out of engineering? Can I cope if I am working on tasks that is not related to my previous working experience? Argh.... My director had posed a question to me asking what my career path would be like in future. He gave 3 options, Option 1: Operation, Option 2:remain in projects, Option 3:Other dept, other company. Option 1 is totally out as I hate working in factory. I like Option 2 but I wish I can eliminate that woman(I can't), and I am considering Option 3. Aih... seems that I have no other choices, it's either Option 2 or 3 and the final decision is from the top management.
I need some sleep now.
Hope that I can recover from my mental disturbances by tomorrow which I doubt that I would be feeling better. Will watch dvd and read a good book tomorrow.
Jaina on Sunday, May 18, 2008
Big Apple Donuts opened their latest shop in Kinta City today!!!
I was strolling in Kinta City and a long queue at Big Apple Donuts in Jusco Food Court caught my eye... Oh great, the food court was renovated to a better design and what's more...it has wifi access... :)
As a matter of fact, I have never tried any of Big Apple or J.Co Donuts although those donuts eateries has opened many branches in KL. Long queues at those donuts eateries turns me away. I would rather look for other food than waiting and waiting for my turn... I'm such impatient person.
Hmm, since Big Apple has expanded their business to my hometown, I guess they are doing well with good response...Maybe I should try a piece of donut in KL next time, if I come across to donut shops.
Speaking of watching Iron Man...the moment I enter the cinema, I could smell bad odour...Yucks...How come my used-to-be favourite cinema become so terrible. argh... And it was full with teenagers...oh gosh... And they were very noisy and busy sms-ing during trailers (that's before movie starts)..Oh, please stop it... I feel irritated with these disturbance. The environment of KL cinema is so much different from Ipoh's cinema... KL ppl are quiet right before the movie starts until the end...
Usually before the movie starts, there is a Digi Yellow Man advertisement which shows Yellow Man vibrates because of incoming call for his phone owner. Even with this advertisement, the teenagers laughed as well...I was like, duh...This is an old advertisement and I don't see any humor from it... '__' They even laughed loudly for a slight joke during the Iron Man movie. I just chuckled but annoyed at them at the same time...
From my observation, most people wear T-shirts when they are outside from their house...Am I having culture shock here? Am I used to see people dressed up? Even KL teenagers behaved more grown up than Ipoh ones...ahh...I think I'm having culture shock here...
Anyway, I still think Ipoh people are simple, peace and friendly ones. You know, the Jusco cashier had just openly chat with me when I was making payment...KL people will never chat with anybody. If a stranger start talking other people, most probably it's an arguement.... Most probably, KL people are so obsessed in the rat race, so they become so defensive and aggressive anywhere, and anytime...
Sad to say I have to make a trip back KL tomorrow...Grinding daily life in KL makes me sick and tiring... Anyway I enjoyed the excitement and challenging life and be patient during gruelling times... I guess it worth it and I feel that I could understand myself more to enhance my strength and improve my weakness.
Got to sleep now... Will go for early morning walk in Polo Ground...hehe...
Jaina on Saturday, May 03, 2008
Bought the tickets. hooray...gonna watch it tonight. Hmm, I wonder how's Kinta City's cinema looked like now... Used to catch movies with school friends (especially when we have finished our SPM)...
Btw, I'm having holidays in Ipoh now... 4 days in a row.... :)
Jaina on Friday, May 02, 2008